Untitled
by bekett
Summary: ENVY, faster! You bastard, stop teasing... Envy! Alphonse Elric slowly and deliberately banged his head against his desk. He wished for the millionth time that the walls were soundproof... AU GreedxAl EnvyxEd Need a title.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Full Metal Alchemist (c) Hiromu Arakawa

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"ENVY, faster! You bastard, stop teasing... Envy!"

Alphonse Elric slowly and deliberately banged his head against his desk. He ground his teeth and wished for the millionth time that the walls were soundproof... How in the world was he supposed to do his homework when his brother and his boyfriend were carrying on in the next room?! His face flushed even more as heard Ed voice a particularly loud moan.

And it wasn't as if he could yell at them to knock it off; he was embarrassed enough just to _hear_ them, much less _talk_ about it the next day!

"Harder, Envy!"

Okay, that was it. He pushed his chair away from his desk and got up. He stomped to the door and reached for the doorknob... He grimaced and slunk back to his bed, feeling like a chicken. He sat with his back against the wall and stared at his neat, plain room, wondering what he was going to do. He had to get his homework done, but the nights Envy came over (which was pretty much every night, although not at the same time) he knew the evening was shot to hell, if you'll excuse his language.

He changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt and got in bed, switching out the light and pulling a pillow over his head. It was no use. The 'thump thump thump' seemed to reverberate in the room.

"AH! Envy!"

"Edo!"

Al scrunched up his face and tried to smother himself in his pillow. Not really. But this was just insane! Don't get him wrong, he was by no means a homophobe. He was completely supportive of his big brother's sexual preference, and didn't see any problem with it. But Envy was _insatiable!_ And Ed didn't seem to mind _at all_. Oh no, he didn't mind _one bit_. They saw each other at school, as Ed was a junior in advanced classes and Envy was a senior in normal classes, and then Envy would come home with Ed after school. If he had work, he would come by around ten. Sometimes they didn't have sex, which Al silently thanked the heavens for, but most of the time, they did.

If Al wanted to keep up his grades, he would have to either stay after school in the library for hours (which didn't really work, as then Ed would think that was a good idea and come with him, and since Ed was going Envy would go, and then Envy would spend the entire time whining and trying to seduce Ed until Al wanted to scream) or get Ed to go over to Envy's place once in a while. But, that idea didn't really work, as Ed always felt guilty if he left Al home alone. Their mother died when they were younger, and their dad was always away on business trips, so it was it was just Ed and him in the house for months on end.

Al didn't mind too much, though. He knew his father had to work to support them, and he and Ed took care of each other. Although there were times when he missed having a parent home, because then maybe Ed wouldn't have his boyfriend over every... single... night.

"Ne, Edo, want another go?"

Al groaned loudly, not caring if they heard them, and buried himself in a nest of sheets, blankets, and pillows in a futile effort to block out the all-too-familiar noises starting up in the room next door.

It was going to be another long night.

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There are definitely not enough GreedxAl stories. And to me it's the perfect compliment to EnvyxEd. Both have hot homunculus semes, and cute Elric brother ukes. XD So I'm going to write one with both pairings in it. Enjoy! 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Full Metal Alchemist (c) Hiromu Arakawa; excerpt of Coulomb's law (c) Glenbrook High School website. (This actually isn't even my school. oO; )

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Al closed the front door behind him and walked to the kitchen. He liked having a snack when he got home, and knew his brother did, too. Envy, who was also coming over (no surprise there), also liked having a snack at their house. Although that snack was usually Edward... Al rolled his eyes good-naturedly and stuck a packet of popcorn in the microwave, pressing the little 'popcorn' icon to get it going. 

He set down his plain blue backpack on the kitchen table and began unloading all of his stuff. New strategy: Doing homework downstairs in the kitchen rather than upstairs right next to his brother's room. Hopefully he couldn't hear them down here.

The microwave beeped, signalling the popcorn was done. The blonde went to retrieve a bowl from the cupboard. He shook the popcorn into it, taking care not to burn himself. As he was doing so, he heard the front door open and close.

"Hey! Al!" Al heard his big brother call for him.

He smiled and yelled back, "I'm in here, Nii-san! And I made some popcorn!"

A gold-colored blur ran into the kitchen and all but attacked the popcorn bowl. "Thanks Al!" Ed beamed at his brother and grabbed a handful of popcorn. He loved coming home to food.

"You're welcome, Nii-san," Al smiled back, taking some for himself.

"Hey Al?" Ed said around a mouthful of popcorn. "Do you mind if I put some of this in a smaller bowl and take it upstairs to my room for me and Envy?"

_Envy and me._ "No, of course not." Al grabbed another bowl and helped fill it with popcorn as his brother kept talking.

"Oh, and Envy's friend is over too. We're just going to be in my room, so we won't bother you."

"Thanks Nii-san," Al smiled gratefully at his big brother and handed him the second popcorn bowl.

"His name's Greed, and he's Envy's roommate." Ed took the bowl, turning to go, but stopped at the doorway. "Oh, and, uh, he might come downstairs to watch TV or something if me and Envy... Uh... Are busy." With a red face and a quick smile, Ed left the kitchen.

"Envy, I got popcorn!" Al heard his brother trumpet as he ran up the stairs.

"GimmeGimmeGimme!"

"AH!" There was the sound of two bodies falling on the upstairs landing. "You could have made me fall down the stairs, you bast- Mmf!" Then the sound of someone else's voice laughing.

Al smiled sheepishly at his brother and boyfriend's antics, and settled down to do his homework.

* * *

It happened in the middle of his Advanced Placement Physics homework. Al ignored it, but still it persisted. Al slowly looked at the glass of water sitting neatly on the tabletop. Again it happened, and thin ripples bloomed on the surface of the water. Al tentatively looked to the ceiling, listening. 

_Thump... Thump... Thump..._

Al tensed and focused his entire being on physics, tuning out the noises coming from upstairs, and the awful knowledge of knowing exactly what was happening to make those noises.

_"Coulomb's law states that the electrical force between two charged objects is directly proportional to the product of the quantity of charge on the objects and inversely proportional to the square of the separation distance between the two objects-"_

_Thump... Thump... Thump..._

Al held the textbook so that it was three inches from his nose.

_"Coulomb's law can be stated as F equals k times Q1 times Q2 all divided by d to the second power, where Q1 represents the quantity of charge on object 1, Q2 represents the quantity of charge on object 2, d represents-"_

_Thump... Thump... _"ENVY!" "EDO!"

Al set his textbook down, his face scarlet. He was embarrassed both by hearing his big brother have sex and by his reaction to it... He blushed even harder. He'd always thought he was straight, because he used to have a crush on their friend Winry... But he loved Winry like a sister, not like a girlfriend. Was it possible to become gay if you were around sexually-active gay guys enough? Was there a 'gay aura' that just sort of swallowed you up from overexposure to it? He was definitely exposed to it here... Their house was overflowing with hormones, pheromones, and other 'moans' he'd rather not speak of...

Was he gay, then? He wasn't sure... He knew Nii-san wouldn't mind...

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice there was someone standing in the doorway until they coughed audibly.

"Wha? Oh, I'm sorry!" Al turned, brown eyes landing on the man in the doorway. He was very tall, with spiky black hair and round glasses. He was wearing leather pants, a tank top, and an open black vest with a fur collar. He was also someone Al had not met before.

"You must be Ed's brother," the man spoke up.

Al put two and two together. "Ano... Yes, I am. I'm Al. Alphonse Elric." He stood and walked over to Greed, putting out his hand. "And you must be Greed-san," he said with a smile.

Greed grinned. This kid was cute. Obviously very naive, but cute. Oh well, he'd better play along.

"Nice to meet you, Alphonse Elric-san," he said gallantly, taking the blonde's small hand in his own larger one.

"Ano... You can just call me Al, as you are Envy and Ed's friend."

"Thanks." When Al smiled and sat back down, Greed also took a seat at the table, watching the kid resume his schoolwork. Bored and with nothing to do until Envy was done being lovey-dovey-horny with his boyfriend, he let his eyes wander.

Dark blonde hair, chopped short and scruffy. Soft skin... Large hazel brown eyes, with a fringe of honey blonde lashes. He looked about fourteen or fifteen, although an effeminate fourteen or fifteen, and... Was that _physics_ homework he was doing? Greed blinked. Smarty-pants.

_"F elect equals 9.0 x 10 to the ninth power times N times m to the second power divided by c to the..."_

Al had the strangest feeling someone was watching him, although he wasn't sure why. He paused in the physics problem and glanced up, seeing Greed-san looking at him. He flashed a quick smile, confused, and returned to his work.

Greed almost laughed. This kid was so oblivious. Good thing for him, otherwise Al might blow up at him like his hot-headed older brother. At twenty-six, Greed was _not_ supposed to be checking out high school boys. The action didn't really surprise him, though. He had always been kind of sick-minded.

He heard someone clomping down the stairs and got up, knowing it was time to go.

"Ne, Greed," Envy appeared at the doorway. "Let's go. I'm not allowed to stay over because Edo has homework to do... Mostly because I made fun of chibi's height again." The green-haired teen grinned.

"Okay, let's get out of here."

"Bye Envy, bye Greed-san!" Al looked up and waved. "It was nice meeting you."

Greed smiled and waved goodbye, walking with Envy out to his car. (Envy had been too lazy to bring his motorcycle.) Envy was chattering on about one thing or another, but Greed wasn't really paying attention.

_That kid is way too... innocent. Ingenuous. He wouldn't last two minutes in the real world. _Envy really wanted to go to Starbucks™ for some coffee, but Greed knew what he was like with caffeine in his system and kept on driving toward their apartment, Envy's whines and demands falling on deaf ears._ Oh well… He'll learn soon enough._

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Yeah, Greed and Envy are friends...ish. I'll explain why they're friends in later chapters. And Al has short hair, even though he's fifteen. Al obviously has his body in this fic as well, and there is no alchemy, so Ed doesn't have automail either. This is all because it's an alternate universe fic. It's not going to be exactly the same, because that's what AU is about. :P 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Full Metal Alchemist © Hiromu Arakawa

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_**Thursday**_

Al stopped writing and flipped his paper upside down, setting his pencil beside it. He stretched slightly and looked around to see who else was done with the exam. Only one other people was. That or he just flipped his paper over and went to sleep because he didn't know anything and knew there was no point in trying. Al hoped that wasn't the case.

He glanced at the clock and saw there was still a half hour left. He pulled out a biotechnology text his brother had lent him and picked up where he left off. As a sophomore, Al had to wait until he got all his required classes like History and Language out of the way before he could take an elective course like Biotech, but that didn't mean he couldn't get a head start. He read for another twenty minutes, until the teacher began talking.

"As the majority of you are done, you may talk _quietly_ until the bell rings."

There were sounds of scuffling and motion as students turned around in their seats to talk to their friends, comparing answers from the statistics exam. Al continued to read quietly. Advanced Placement Statistics 1 had mostly juniors and seniors in it, and he had made few friends. He only looked up when a small object landed on his desk with a light tapping sound.

He tilted his head and picked up the folded piece of paper, smoothing out to find a note. His brown eyes scanned it quickly, then widened. He looked around and saw a brown-haired senior two seats up and over one smiling at him. His messy brown hair stuck out from under the backwards-facing baseball cap he war, and he had a teasing smile. Al smiled confusedly and turned back to the note.

_hey_

_your like the one soph in the class, rite? cool_

_are you free this sat? rite back._

_danny_

The blonde picked up his pencil and scrawled a reply, passing the note back to the brunet.

_Yes, I am a sophomore… Um, free to do what?_

_-Al_

Al saw Danny read his response and grin before writing his own, passing it back when he was done.

_go somewhere, duh. it'll be realy fun if you go. want 2? i have a car. _

_wuts your #?_

_danny_

Al hesitated. Did he really want to go out with a bunch of people he didn't really know? He could invite Ed, but… He didn't want to seem like a baby. Ed had made friends besides him, like Envy and Greed and others. Al should make new friends too, and stop tagging behind Ed so much. He nodded decidedly and quickly wrote a reply, giving it back to Danny.

_Okay, I'll go. My number is 555-5735._

_-Al_

Just then the bell rang, and everyone began to gather up their stuff. Al slipped the biotechnology textbook into his backpack and hoisted the strap on his shoulder, turning to go. As he exited the classroom, he felt something small pressed into his hand, and looked up to see Danny waving at him before leaving to go to his next class. Al unfolded the note as he walked to his locker, trying not to bump into anyone accidentally.

_sweet. i'll call to get directions. c u then )_

_danny_

Al blinked and smiled. He had made a new friend. With this in mind, Al smiled brightly and switched his AP Stat textbook for AP History. He closed the locker, twirling the combination, and headed for the east wing.

* * *

_**Friday**_

"Ne, Nii-san?"

"Yeah?" Ed looked up from his AP Calculus homework to see his little brother standing in the doorway.

"I'm going to go out with some friends Saturday night, is that okay?" Al walked over to sit down on his brother's bed. Danny had just called, saying that he would come by around eight Saturday night, and that they would be with some of his friends, who were all supposed to be really nice and eager to meet him. They were supposed to go out for pizza and then to the arcade. Al was excited, but a bit nervous as well.

"Yeah, of course. Who are the friends?" Ed asked, just out of curiosity.

"A friend I made in my AP Stat class and his friends."

"Sounds fun. I'm going to stay over at Envy's place that night, then, okay?"

"Okay!" He felt better, knowing that Ed would be having fun with Envy while Al was having fun with new friends. …A different sort of fun, of course.

"Alright, that's all I wanted to ask." Al hopped off his brother's bed and gave him a hug. "Thanks, Nii-san!"

Ed laughed and hugged back. "No problem, Al! You don't have to get my permission, though."

"I just wanted to let you know," Al smiled.

"Thanks," Ed smiled in return. He reluctantly turned back to his AP Calc, knowing he still had more problems to do. "I hate junior year…" He whined, before continuing the problem he had been working on.

"Next year you'll be a senior," Al pointed out.

"Yeah," Ed brightened at the thought, then darkened once more. "Envy'll be gone, though," he said moodily.

"Maybe he'll go to the local college?" Al suggested, trying to keep his brother's spirits up.

"Yeah, maybe… I really have to get this done. Sorry Al." Ed smiled and tried to focus on calculus.

"Night, Nii-san, whenever you go to bed."

"Night, Al."

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Thank you to those who reviewed. :3 Love you guys so much! It seems like no one has heard of GreedxAl before… Oh well. This fic'll put it on the map. Mwahaha! By the way, I still need a title for this thing. It's weird having it just be 'Untitled'. So if anyone has any ideas, drop a review or message me.

Sorry the chapters have been so short thus far. They'll get longer, I promise. Especially the next chapter, for it is… The Date!


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